KNOW MYSELF (11/52, 12/52 and 13/52)

11/52     After broke up with him, like to cry in the shower.

 12/52     Thanks God, I am returning to work after a long break of 10 months.

Feel excited and tired.

13/52     When I'm feeling down, want to go out but scared.

KNOW MYSELF (9/52 and 10/52)

9/52     When hand or body is getting dirty, just clean it.

But, how should I do when heart is getting dirty?

I feel myself is a hypocrite.

10/52     I often build an invisible wall around me.
It is because the feelings of distrust, insecurity and fear.

KNOW MYSELF (6/52, 7/52 and 8/52)

 6/52     Happy Chinese New Year.
In this cny, I was stayed at home the whole time and read novel.

 7/52     I'm a normal adult but feel like a handicapped child when communicate with others.

8/52     I feel helpless and don't know what to do.

KNOW MYSELF (4/52 and 5/52)

4/52     Thanks God, music is a gift from Him.

When I am alone, at work, feel happy and sad, the radio or CD player is always on.

Music calms me down, lifts me up and get through a day.

In the deep mind, I am dislike silent and alone. So, I prefer to listening music but do not remember the singers and song name.

Finally, music let me relax and express my emotions. Thanks God.

 

5/52     Red colour is bright and suitable in the Chinese New Year.

KNOW MYSELF (1/52, 2/52 and 3/52)

52 PROJECT

KNOW MYSELF

Since I finished 365 photography project in March 2014, I was taken a long rest and seldom take photo. But there is an idea of 52 photography project about KNOW MYSELF. So, I decide to start on it this year. 

When it is started, my NEX-3 don't have the remote control function. So that, I am using 10 second self-timer to take my photo. After finish the photography, I feel tired and sweated but happy. Hope God lead me to know myself in all my parts and God's mercy and love during the photography.

1/52     Thanks God, I born. Thanks my parents for caring of me.

2/52     Hide.It is one of my characteristics when I am meeting people.

3/52     Red balloon.

31-12-2015 (星期四）

时间过得很快，只剩下最后一天就进入新的一年。

2015年，对我来说不一样。工作了十六年，还没放过大假。考虑了好久，就决定在今年四月辞职。原本的计划是，先退修四十天，一个人安静祷告等候上帝，希望上帝告诉我当做什么工作。十六年里，我总共做了三份工作，而最后一份做最久的（七年）。

感谢上帝，祂的名字是耶和华、以马内利、奇妙策士、永在的父、全能的神、和平的君、我的牧者、我的拯救主。神从创造世界以前，祂在基督里拣选了我们，使我们在祂面前成为圣洁，无有瑕疵；又因爱我们，就按着自己意旨所喜悦的，预定我们借着耶稣基督得儿子的的名分，使祂荣耀的恩典得着称赞；这恩典是祂在爱子里所赐给我们的。

我活着为了什么？人生的目标是什么？
照着原本的人生方向，就是考到文凭、有一份不错的工作、结婚生子。这样的人生真好，但世事难料。自从三十一考完了那长达十年的考试，拿到了专业文凭，就想要结婚。但过了三年后，却与交往七年的男友分手。分手后就开始封闭了自己，埋藏心事，用做工和戴上没事的面具来逃避人群的接触。一年后，自我感觉良好，以为走出来了。但在公司里，遇到了人事上的变化，使到我累了。爱情和工作上的伤害，让我感觉到人与人的关系是何等的脆弱。同时，也失去了方向，感觉茫然、没有安全感和信心。这样的情形又持续了一年，身心灵很疲乏，也时常哭和喊。最后决定在今年辞职放长假，好好的休息，想找回方向和对生命的热忱。

上帝是奇妙。

原本的计划是先租一房式公寓，一个人安静祷告等候上帝四十天。过后，才找工作。但事实是，租了大约两个月。在这两个月里，时常哭泣、睡觉、告诉祂我的心里话、祈求祂的医治和爱。感谢上帝，因祂的爱和饶恕，我饶恕了自己、家人和朋友。上帝是爱，祂爱我、安慰我、医治我。从母亲怀着我的时候，直到现在，上帝都在顾念着我，也顾念着我的家人。感谢上帝告诉了我，要我放下、接受、依靠上帝、交托和专注。

感谢上帝的供应，让我过着八个月的退休生活，还与家人去度假了一个星期多。虽然，大多时候，都无所事事，也懒惰了。但却感受到退休生活的无聊、孤单和自闭等，也认识到自己的软弱，人生没方向和热忱。

感谢上帝，让我重新认识自己，包括身份，优缺点和软弱。当然，也重新认识耶稣。目前，还不是很认识耶稣和自己，但清楚的知道耶稣必不丢弃我、祂必用永远的爱来爱我、祂必指引我、差遣我。圣灵，求袮教导我如何按着天父的旨意祷告，也愿意顺服和遵行主的旨意，奉耶稣的名祷告，阿门。

新年蒙恩。愿上帝与我们同在，阿门。

Painting - June to Sep 2015

After graduation, I did not paint again until 23 June 2015. Thanks God.

20150623 - Life 生命

20150630 - Underwater world 海底世界

20150706 - Joel 1:4 What the cutting locust left, the swarming locust has eaten. What the swarming locust left, the hopping locust has eaten, and what the hopping locust left, the destroying locust has eaten. 约珥书1：4 剪虫剩下的，蝗虫来吃；蝗虫剩下的，蝻子来吃；蝻子剩下的，蚂蚱来吃。

20150710 - Who am I? 我是谁？

20150714 - Psalms 104:27-28

20150827 - Reading 阅读

 29150923 - The parable of the sower 撒种的比喻